From Blow Jobs to Tacos

Have you forgiven yourself? As we get ready to walk into 2019, remember that it is time to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for settling for less than you deserved. I carried so much hate in my heart for myself, by allowing myself to stay in such a toxic marriage. When I divorced, I first thought failure on my part, that I couldn't save it, but it wasn't meant to be saved. In a saving way, God was saving me. Now that first year was rough, but when my kids expressed how happy they were that we finally went our separate ways, I knew I was doing the right thing. And God hasn't failed me yet, in fact, my blessings have been better since then. My business is booming now and I love it! Traveling more, that's always a plus and then there's him...the one who makes my heart happy. So as you go into 2019, forgive yourself for accepting less than what you deserve and promise to never settle again! You are worth it. 

It's been crazy, but I haven't forgotten about you guys! I will be back next week, so stay tuned! 

Sometimes you feel like it's just a blessing to have someone there, but some people are removed for bigger reasons. Years ago, my grandmother told me she prayed every night for my happiness, she said that is the reason you divorced. She said he was not the man for me. I thought she was crazy, lol. But I learned that shedding some relationships is truly a blessing. I love the new life I have and who I get to share it with. So while those who had a strong presence in my life in the past...your absence has been the biggest blessing! And for that, I thank you all!

This past summer I lost a close friend. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Every Wednesday I watch Mean Girls and wear my Jazz shirt! It's crazy to know that someone I talked to on a daily basis and smiled so big...inside was so alone. I know he's no longer in pain and for that I am happy, but remember to check on your friends, lots of them are fighting battles you know nothing about. I love and miss you man! Continue resting in peace Jazz.

This song actually speaks volumes. Don't ever think you need to settle, just to have someone love you. Love should not hurt. It took a long time for me to learn that. The best thing I did was divorce. My wasband is not a horrible man, we just weren't right for each other and we really tried to stay together and it just made a bad situation. Plus we were young, so the stress of kids, bills, jobs got to be a lot to handle. I remember one fight we had, he bit my face...my mother said she could never get past seeing his teeth marks in my face. She said that broke her heart, especially because I stayed with him after that. The longer we stayed married, the less physical fighting we did, it was more emotional and mental. I think that was worse. When I found someone who loved me and encouraged me, it was like a breath of fresh air. The last three years have been a journey, but the best journey of my life. And I wish my wasband the best of happiness. Our time together was toxic, but we

There are some connections that can never be broken... This guy is the definition of AMAZING, probably why his name has been tattooed on my back since I was 18 years old, lol. He has been the love of my life, my best friend, my biggest supporter for the past 27 years.  This guy drove 5 hours to watch my son tour a college for an hour, took my oldest to see her favorite college track team and bought my mini more souvenirs than she could ever image from his trip to Africa and Canada...to say I am blessed is an understatement, he is exactly the man I knew he would be when I was 15 years old. They say never say never...so I never will, just glad that he's stuck around as an amazing best friend for almost 30 years...he wasn't a horrible boyfriend either back in high school, lol :) I love you MEME, thanks for no matter what, kids, marriage, divorce, loss of loved ones...thank you for always being there!

So I was talking to a friend the other day that always goes back to her boyfriend because she doesn't like to be alone. No matter how many times she catches him cheating, she goes back...My first thought was you dumb chick, but I've been there, my wasband was a compulsive liar, cheater, narcissist...you name it. What we fail to realize, because we are "in love" is that the very signs that we ignore at the beginning of the relationship, usually become the reasons you leave the relationship.  We cause our own heartbreak sometimes, we know what's good and not good for us. So in short, don't sell yourself short! You are worth more than that!

# wasbandchronicles   Wasband: Can I have my clock?  Me: What?  Was: The clock on the wall in the other living room.  I go pull the clock off the wall... My mother: He came over here for a clock? You guys separated 4 years ago, why now? Me: I don't know, but I always hated that clock. Just another day in our divorced world. He said he called, but just showed up because I didn't answer his call or texts! 

Oh my goodness! I have so much to fill you guys in on, I guess it's time I get back to writing and relax a little on this dating after 40 life! LOL! I tell you what, I swear dating after 40s is for the birds. I am just taking applications for Suga Daddies ONLY! And the wasband, oh lord! So he is on victim, I mean new girlfriend number 3 since our divorce, may God bless her with patience cause he is still a mess, but at least he is HER mess and not mine!

Keeping your tongue flat, start at the underside of his balls and lick your way up to the tip-top of his head, like how you'd lick an ice cream cone, frozen yogurt, gelato...hell, I don't know your life and what you like, but you get the point! On the way up, you'll hit pretty much every erogenous zone there is down there. Happy Licking Sucking and Fucking!

As the romance diva, I get all kinds of questions in my inbox or at my parties!  BLOWJOBS  are the number one topic. So for those of you that like to do it, don't like to do it, hate the taste...whatever, this has been a popular solution for many of my customers!  WICKED LUBE! This stuff is amazing! I call it the Blow Job in a Bottle!  Kissable, Lickable and Delicious, Wicked®  adds subtle natural flavors to enhance oral pleasures. Light & silky, this water-based formula is the perfect sensual combination  of an elegant lubricant and a flavor sensation. Never sticky and without an aftertaste, Wicked® satisfies your sweet tooth and your intimate desires all in one amazing pleasure product. You will want to keep a bottle by the bed, purse, by the couch, in the kitchen...wherever is convenient! Comes in a variety of flavors!!! Salted Caramel is my favorite! Tastes just like Starbucks to me! You can order online on my website:  www.thepleasurediva.com

While we know everyone is not verbally expressive during sex, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be. No need to be quiet as a church mouse in the bedroom…or kitchen or wherever you decide to get your loving on. If you have a partner who feels that they can’t be verbal during sex, encourage them! Tell them what turns you on, tell them it’s a turn on to hear their sex sounds! In the words of one of my favorite groups of my younger years: Tony! Toni! Tone’!; If the rhythm feels good to you baby Let me hear you say (oh-oh baby) So embrace those moans, groans, and sighs! Listen and Learn, those noises are telling you some amazing things!

Did you know that OYSTERS are more than just a good source of protein? They are like an energy booster! And they slide down your throat perfectly, so that's perfect practice for well, you know! And oysters contain Zinc! Not only does the zinc boost your sex drive, but it also ups your immune system, helps get rid of acne, eases rashes and makes your bones stronger. Make sure you add this to your next date night!

Sometimes you just have to listen to some Lauryn Hill! Music therapy!

People always tell me that I should hate my ex because of all he put me through. Now while it's true, we did not have seventeen years of bliss, there was a lot of pain. When I got married, of course, I thought it would be forever, but forever is a long time that doesn't always pan out. He walked out on our family when we needed him the most, at least I thought we did. Being married to a narcissist, you forget your identity. You take on a dependency that is hard to shake. But I don't hate him, in fact, I thank him. Being in a toxic relationship taught me life lessons. I cried when it was over, because I thought I needed him, it was like he was the oxygen I needed, but it wasn't even close. Our relationship ending made me realize my worth. I learned that I deserved better. His leaving me, helped me find the woman I was supposed to be. The memories and the lessons I don't regret because they shaped me and I love the me I am today!

It's no secret that the wasband and I did not have a peaceful divorce. We did not get along most of our separation leading to our divorce, but we decided to stop fighting and be civil for our kids last summer. So this past Christmas, he had our two kids for the week. My oldest two were on Christmas break from college and I realized for the first time, I wouldn't have all my babies on Christmas morning. I was sad, I wasn't ready for that, so I called the wasband and asked if the older kids and I could come over to take pictures. He said yes. We ended up taking tons of pics and he even cooked breakfast and for the first time in years, we all sat at the same table and ate breakfast and then sat and talked and watched the kids play Call of Duty. What meant more than anything, was seeing my children happy and us not arguing! When the older kids and I were getting ready to leave, my 15 asked for a family pic. I think we were both caught off-guard and he was reluctant at first,

A classic