From Blow Jobs to Tacos

I can always tell when my co-worker is excited about a story because she waltzes to my desk like we are BFFs and whispers very loudly, lol! (Being quiet is not one of her strong points.) I think she wants to make sure I am listening to her saga so she has to face me.   So today I was expecting the normal Wal-Mart crush story, because we all know the Wal-Mart man is in love with her cause he doesn’t say hello to everyone, but no. No, this one tops the normal odd stories she tells. So she and her husband are cleaning out a drawer and they find in their parents’ house and come across a bunch of finger vibrators. What do I care? What am I supposed to say to that? How do I erase the image in my head of her and her husband holding vibrators that belonged to their parents? YUCK! And she wonders why we can’t be friends; because you are always telling weird stories like this! I see a vacation and tropical drinks in my near future…..

So she’s back….lol. My mini vacation is over. I swear, not even an hour of peace and quiet before her stories start. This one is about the ongoing infatuation she has with the Wal-Mart guy, poor guy said hello to her one time and she thinks he is her stalker. I think it is the other way around. I wonder if I look like I want her to share with me, I don’t. LOL! Maybe I need to use my Resting Bitch Face in the mornings. And I am not a mean person, I just can’t deal with the long stories, maybe a short; condensed version every now and then, but for the love of God, this story still going, it’s like it grows as she talks, like she doesn’t want it to end... I haven’t even turned around to acknowledge that I am listening and she is still talking. I bet I could put a blow up doll in my chair and she would still be talking….not a bad idea, I think I have found a solution to my dilemma. It is only Monday, isn’t it? I think I will cut back on a bottle of wine a week and start my bail mon

So my friend Lisa asked me to go listen to music on the rooftop...well, let's just say the band was great, but the people watching was the best part!  Oh wait, I did say the band was great too right? The band was   BORN IN NOVEMBER! I highly recommend you catch any show they are doing! And I even got one of them to stand still long enough for a picture! Now watch the video, it was priceless!!! 

So my normal 8-5 job in addition to all my hustles, is at the water department. Now I hear all kinds of stories, but today was the best one yet! Customer: I need to start service at this address, my husband and I are divorcing and I just moved out. Me: I'm sorry about that, I will be happy to help you today. Customer: Don't be sorry for me, be sorry for the naked woman in my hot tub, since my knee met her face! Me: Oh, well....gotta do what you gotta do.... Customer: Yes, apparently there was about to be a threesome taking place and I wasn't invited! Me: Damn girl, I would have kneed a bitch too   #‎ notinmyhottub‬ ‪#‎ thecallyouhopewasntrecorded‬ ‪#‎ customerservicegotreal‬ ‪#‎ shesgettinghalf‬ ‪#‎ iwonderifthechickhadtogetstitches‬ ‪#‎ heshouldofwenttoahotel‬ ‪#‎ threesomedenied