From Blow Jobs to Tacos

  The problem with Facebook is that somebody is friends with somebody that knows somebody. LOL! This divorce has been a pain. I had decided early on, especially since we have family on our pages; that I wouldn’t post pictures of me with anyone until we were divorced. Well, the soon to be ex, not so much. Blondie is extra proud to be with my "wasband," aka soon to be ex-husband. Pictures are all on social media of them; well apparently she and I have a picture that was taken around the same time on his bike, lol! Blondie and I have mutual friends and someone saw the picture and recognized the name, since she tagged him and asked me if he and I were still together. I just had to laugh! Blondie, I wish y’all the best, you can have him honey, I am good on the love, I found my blessing,  I just want what 15 years of marriage gets me…HALF…now get your little ass off my Harley! LMAO! 

                So the soon to be ex calls, not to ask if the kids are okay or what they are doing, but apparently the new boo, who I refer to as bleach blondie couldn’t locate her grown ass son and he wanted to know if I could find anything out. Hmmmmmm……where they do that at? I mean, he always hated me being a Private Investigator, probably because he was always doing so much dirt, lol! I told him I would call him back, while I contemplated in my head to be nice or to be a bitch…. I called him back, I said, tell your boo thang that she can check arrest records online and can call area hospitals. I was even thoughtful enough to give him the website. I mean seriously, why would I help someone that is sleeping with my husband, in all fairness, we aren’t even divorced yet. Note to soon to be ex: Before calling wifey to ask for help with your side chicks problems, at least ask about your own kids first….I might have been more helpful….or nah…..who knows!

Ex: What do you want for dinner? Me: Huh? Ex: I am gonna cook dinner tomorrow since you don’t feel good and since I am going out of town for the weekend and won’t see the kids. In my head, I am thinking why the hell is he cooking dinner? Is he trying to secretly poison me? I am not sure how I feel about this…. Me: Just make spaghetti, that’s quick and easy. We have a football game at 7 anyways… Ex: I will come by after work and cook Ex: Hey…..what color panties you got on? Me: Bye Henry… My ex is a trip, how blondie puts up with him is beyond me, lol! Since she is so much older, she must have more patience, but if he still needs to know, they were leopard print panties, LOL!  They were a gift and I really doubt the person that bought them would want my soon to be ex husband checking them out! 

B.A.E?! So this is supposed to mean Before Anyone Else?  Kinda funny to see my soon to be ex’s new girlfriend use that term, considering she has four kids, so she had plenty before him and he is still legally married to me, so legally he can’t fully be yours either, but trust me doll, he will be all yours soon…and stop bugging the hell outta me!   That’s what my lawyer gets the big bucks for! People always posting shit, she should have been more secretive like him, but then again, he’s been cheating for years so he may have more practice than she does! 

Cust: Is this the water dept? Me: Yes Cust: I need help getting into my house, I am locked out Me: Ma’am we can’t help you with that. That would be a locksmith Cust: Don’t you have a maintenance department? Me: We do, but they are not coming your house to try and unlock your doors. Cust: You are no help! What am I supposed to do now? Me: Call a locksmith People, please stop testing my patience today….Somebody is about to get it…..

I swear, I think I work with the world’s biggest Hypochondriac. The moment someone in the office says they are feeling sick or their kids are sick, she wants to know the symptoms and she immediately takes to google to research, lol! And then what happens the next day? You guessed it, she is sick. Lol! No previous symptoms, nothing, lol. I usually have to laugh to keep myself from choking her……or have a drink or two or ten. Thank God it’s Taco Tuesday! I see Margaritas and Tacos in my near future!

It’s Monday…I wonder if I just look like I want to hear her life story. I know I don’t walk in the door bubbly and full of excitement, especially when I didn’t go to sleep last night until 2am. So I am not sure what gives her the green light to invade my personal bubble space with her meaningless stories, but nonetheless, she is eager to tell me something, so this was today’s story as soon as I sit down at my desk: So my dad has Irritable Bowel Syndrome and when I take my mom to the doctor this week, I have to take him with us and if he has an accident, I have to change him. OMG NaTasha, what am I gonna do? Last time he had an accident in my car it was so gross. What would you do?  Hell if I know, I thought. I don’t even wanna hear this story, and I know the look on my face should of told her my response as clear as day. I had nothing, just a blank awkward stare. I think she got the hint and she walked back to her desk. Someone should of taught her a long time ago….you don’t

Me: So you just randomly took our son on a road trip out of state and didn’t say anything? You would be pissed off if I did that. Ex: You are right, I apologize, I’m running late should have him home in 45 minutes. Me: So who did you go with? Ex: A friend Me: A Friend with benefits? Ex: Ummmm, you have friends with benefits Me: So was it the blonde? Ex: Yes Me: Nice….Where you going to tell me that we are now introducing our kids to our “friends” Ex: Nope, I wasn’t gonna say a thing Me: Typical…..I should have told you to pick me up a new flat iron on your way back, mine broke. Ex: Really, a flat iron?  This is the Ex and I’s Sunday night conversation. We talk more now that we live in two separate houses than we did the 15 years we were married. I did need a new flat iron tho…

This is a must see video. Children are so trusting and they they that nothing will ever happen, but it can and will. We hear about stories like this all the time and sometimes the end result is death....there is no coming back from that. Stay aware, know what your kids are doing....No, it won't always be perfect, my kids pulled the wool over my eyes a few times, but that doesn't mean you just stop being active in knowing what is going on in their lives. Know your kids circle, know those parents. It drives my kids crazy that I have to meet the parents of kids they want to hang out with, but you have too. We as parents have to do a better job of educating our kids on how serious this is. My ex would drive me crazy because he was in a bike club and all the kids called the members "uncle" now some of those guys were sweet, I am sure, but you don't know everyone's intentions. Even the "sweetest" looking people can have bad intentions. As parents, we ca

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I can always tell when my co-worker is excited about a story because she waltzes to my desk like we are BFFs and whispers very loudly, lol! (Being quiet is not one of her strong points.) I think she wants to make sure I am listening to her saga so she has to face me.   So today I was expecting the normal Wal-Mart crush story, because we all know the Wal-Mart man is in love with her cause he doesn’t say hello to everyone, but no. No, this one tops the normal odd stories she tells. So she and her husband are cleaning out a drawer and they find in their parents’ house and come across a bunch of finger vibrators. What do I care? What am I supposed to say to that? How do I erase the image in my head of her and her husband holding vibrators that belonged to their parents? YUCK! And she wonders why we can’t be friends; because you are always telling weird stories like this! I see a vacation and tropical drinks in my near future…..

So she’s back….lol. My mini vacation is over. I swear, not even an hour of peace and quiet before her stories start. This one is about the ongoing infatuation she has with the Wal-Mart guy, poor guy said hello to her one time and she thinks he is her stalker. I think it is the other way around. I wonder if I look like I want her to share with me, I don’t. LOL! Maybe I need to use my Resting Bitch Face in the mornings. And I am not a mean person, I just can’t deal with the long stories, maybe a short; condensed version every now and then, but for the love of God, this story still going, it’s like it grows as she talks, like she doesn’t want it to end... I haven’t even turned around to acknowledge that I am listening and she is still talking. I bet I could put a blow up doll in my chair and she would still be talking….not a bad idea, I think I have found a solution to my dilemma. It is only Monday, isn’t it? I think I will cut back on a bottle of wine a week and start my bail mon

So my friend Lisa asked me to go listen to music on the rooftop...well, let's just say the band was great, but the people watching was the best part!  Oh wait, I did say the band was great too right? The band was   BORN IN NOVEMBER! I highly recommend you catch any show they are doing! And I even got one of them to stand still long enough for a picture! Now watch the video, it was priceless!!! 

So my normal 8-5 job in addition to all my hustles, is at the water department. Now I hear all kinds of stories, but today was the best one yet! Customer: I need to start service at this address, my husband and I are divorcing and I just moved out. Me: I'm sorry about that, I will be happy to help you today. Customer: Don't be sorry for me, be sorry for the naked woman in my hot tub, since my knee met her face! Me: Oh, well....gotta do what you gotta do.... Customer: Yes, apparently there was about to be a threesome taking place and I wasn't invited! Me: Damn girl, I would have kneed a bitch too   #‎ notinmyhottub‬ ‪#‎ thecallyouhopewasntrecorded‬ ‪#‎ customerservicegotreal‬ ‪#‎ shesgettinghalf‬ ‪#‎ iwonderifthechickhadtogetstitches‬ ‪#‎ heshouldofwenttoahotel‬ ‪#‎ threesomedenied  

It took several months, but it was such an amazing feeling to start being happy again. 15 years is a long time to be married and to have it end, it does take some adjusting. But one day I stopped crying and realized I was going to be just fine. Life does truly go on. I looked at myself in the mirror, and said to myself: I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS I WANT BETTER THAN THIS I AM BETTER THAN THIS And so it begins….the journey back to me…

5 Signs You Are Too Selfish for Love By Quentin McCall Are you ready for love? Do you have a solid foundation to date responsibly, court, and eventually enter into a lifelong covenant of marriage? Selfishness should put the brakes on any plans you have to start any of this. Let’s be honest, we all have selfish tendencies… don’t we? We want what we want, when we want it. This is true in relationships as well. Regardless of how giving and understanding we are, a part of us wants people to agree with us, respect the things we enjoy, support our decisions, not argue if we change our mind, show up on time, give us our space, etc… These are natural selfish tendencies we have, because we are human… though we should continually seek to master them. However, we are not talking about tendencies here. We are talking about selfishness (repeated selfish behavior). This occurs when someone displays a pattern of behavior that shows disregard for others; actions that are not conducive to love

Simply meaning, are you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. Learning how to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you. When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship. Learning more about yourself and what truly makes you happy is the first step in building happiness with others. Always remember, you will not be good to anyone else, until you are happy with yourself. 

We say our vows with conviction and can't wait to live a happy life together. But then reality hits. Being in a happy relationship takes work. If any of this sounds familiar to you, and you feel your relationship could be better, then you want to continue reading. Trust me, I am talking to myself here too, :) Don't get discouraged. The very fact that you recognize that there is a problem is a good sign. It means you're paying attention and are aware of what's going on. After all, you can't fix it if you don't know it's broke. So, take heart and start working toward fixing your relationship. If you and your partner are good at communicating with one another, then you may be able to patch things up on your own. Perhaps there was a time when you could talk to each other, but you have since started drifting apart. Go ahead and try reopening the lines of communication. It's worth a shot, and it's a good skill to develop again. Be sure t

This song is my favorite pick me up! It is just awesome! I love it! Happy Friday! Make every day count! Be a blessing!

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What do you really want in life? Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to die – and that’s a shame. Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. What do you really want in life? Some people struggle in answering such question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people? If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry.  There are many ways of discovering your purpose in life. To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart . Oftentimes, people are ruled by logic. People live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires

The heart is a funny thing. This song speaks volumes. Does forever still last or is it a fairytale? How do you fall out of love? I didn’t get it, but what could I do? You can’t make someone love you, or even stay in a relationship that they don’t want to be in. So where do you go from there? What do you do now? You keep living! You take your heart back. The day they walk out, that’s the day you start back on the journey back to you. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, well I would use it to dress my tequila, but nonetheless you keep going. If someone truly loves you, they will find a way to be in your life, if they don’t they will show you that too. Don't let someone’s lack of love for you, turn into lack of love for yourself. Stay beautiful! Stay Encouraged! You got this!

Don’t stop having fun. Relationships change over the years. We aren’t the same people we were in the beginning. We grow, we change, but that doesn’t mean the love and the fun gets thrown out the window. Learn to embrace change and keep pursuing each other and growing together. The bills will always be there, there will always be chores or work to do, but learn to prioritize the daily routines of life and work on having fun again in your relationship. Relax, reminisce, hug often, kiss more, hold hands and by all means have sex often! Relationships don’t just take care of themselves, you have to be willing to work at it! What you nurture and take care of will grow! Grow together!

I loved this article. Mainly because we really forget and don't often realize that some people are toxic to your relationship. Just because they are your friends and family, it does not mean that they want the best for you, some people are not satisfied until your are just as miserable as they are. Not everyone that crosses your path, means well. Make sure to be aware of the warning signs. The 3 'Friends' That Will Destroy Your Marriage | Scott Haltzman | YourTango

Memories that are not so great are something that you may want to forget.  When you are going through a divorce, it will seem like everything will bring up a familiar memory to you. You will want to make sure that you are going to be able to deal with those times and all the feelings that come along with it.   You may have to find a way to cope with them and to get past the things that remind you of the good old days. Sometimes it's okay to have the fond memories come back. There are many times when you are going to have these feelings of old memories come rushing back. You will have the comfort of these memories as long as you are able to control the way that they make you feel. You want to be able to keep these memories in the back of your mind but you also want to be able to get past the bad feelings that some of these memories can leave for you. You should remember that you have many new memories to make for yourself and your family. You want to take comfort i

One the most important lessons that you will learn from divorce, is you are stronger than you think. It takes a lot out of a person and it knocks you down. But going through all that you have, you will become a stronger person in the end. It will enable you to handle situations that you normally wouldn't think you could handle. It won’t be easy, but you will get stronger. It will also allow you to know the difference between words and action. Your mate might have promised to be civilized and then took everything. This may make you not want to trust anyone ever again, however, you will find a medium of believing everything and distrusting everything. You will know when someone is feeding you a line and you will tell when someone is being truly honest. Actions always speak louder than words. You may want to keep that in mind when it comes to other relationships. Have your Kelly Clarkson moment! 

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Yes I cried, I am a sucker for a happy ending! This was so beautiful! Love a guy that takes his time to make every moment count! I pray they have many happy years together! Love Love Love!

They say you teach people how to treat you by what you allow in your life. What are you allowing in your life? Are you on the path you’ve always wanted to be on or stuck on the dead end road? Doors close, doors open, but don’t compromise your goals or vision that you’ve set for yourself. The old saying goes, if you reach for the moon, you might not make it, but you’ll land in the stars!   

It is important for couples to know that the success of their marriage depends a lot on good communication and the ability to talk constructively as partners.  These tips are simple yet can do a lot to make a marriage last: ·               Being affectionate ·               Showing your concern or how much you care ·               Being thoughtful by giving gifts even when there is no occasion ·               Being appreciative ·               Having a healthy sense of humor ·               Sharing each other's joy To keep marriage strong, couples must share their interests and explore new things together.  They must also learn to accept each other's weaknesses and perspectives even if they do not agree.  Indeed, marriage is a matter of give-and-take.  Whether it's having an argument or making a marriage work, it does take  "two to tango.”

With each other that is. Do you still give each butterflies? Remember, as the years go by, you need to grow together and get closer.  Don’t get stuck in a routine! Keep things interesting and new! Spend the day flirting with the one you love as creatively as you know how! Engage and connect with each other. Show your lover, that they are still the one you want. The one you chose then and the one you can’t resist now!

They are not all the same.  As a mother of four, I have to constantly remind myself that my kiddos are as different as two left shoes. They all have such unique talents and gifts, I had to learn to embrace and encourage them all differently. Not always easy to do, but I am learning.  I love for my kids to have excellent grades, but that doesn’t always show the full story of your child’s gift or potential. I have to constantly remind myself to look beneath the surface and realize the blessings God has given each one of my children and encourage that light in them. I am truly blessed with four gifted and talented human beings. Even though these teen years drive me crazy sometimes! 

Divorce doesn’t just happen one day out of nowhere. Divorce happens over a period of time. The relationship starts breaking down and we realize that we can no longer be together.  Many couples wake up after the break up happens, but why does it even have to get that far?  Spending endless nights worrying about what to do - to go for divorce or not? Why not to take care of the relationship today and find out what’s wrong and fix it.   Ask questions such as - Am I happy in my marriage/ is my partner happy? Am I emotionally satisfied? What about my partner? Is marriage giving us joy or pain? Are we still in love? Is one of us feeling victimized?  Are we loyal to each other? What kind of relationship do we share now? Are we feeling sick of each other?  Raise as many questions about your marriage, yourself and your partner as you can think of.   As you think of questions, you will start thinking more deeply about where your relationship is heading. Then you can truly start w

Sometimes God will wake you up in the middle of the night to get your attention , lol. He kept bringing this scripture to mind. So I got up and read it because I know me, I would forget it by morning if I didn't, lol!  1 Samuel 30:8 So David inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I pursue this troop? Shall I overtake them?” And He answered him, “Pursue, for you shall surely overtake them and without fail recover all.” God's word will NEVER return unto you void. People are fair-weather, here today, gone tomorrow. Sometimes friends turn into enemies. Don't be discouraged, encourage yourself! SMILE , even when you feel defeated! When David encouraged himself in the Lord he prayed with confidence and the promise came from the Lord: “Pursue, for you shall surely overtake them and without fail recover all.” David would not have heard anything if he had chosen to remain discouraged. Don't give up at the edge of success. Keep pressing forward, keep striving

Between the hours that you spend getting work done, spending time with your kids, and making sure the household is running smoothly, it can be pretty challenging finding time to spend with your partner.  However, research suggests that spending quality time with your partner each week is key to having a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, one study found that couples who spend quality time together at least once a week are three times as likely to say that they are very happy with their relationship than couples that don’t set aside weekly time for each other. Here are ten ideas for ways that you can spend date night with your partner each week. Movie Night - Take some time to check out the latest movie to hit the theaters. Or, if you are short on money or can’t find a sitter, rent a movie from Redbox or Netflix, put the kids to bed, pop some popcorn, and cuddle up on the couch for a movie night at home. Picnic in the Park - Grab a picnic basket, some food, and